Bittersweet Beginnings
by SanVesa
Summary: "But here I found myself, on my way to a beautiful lake, with my History teacher; Mr. Masen. I half expected him to lecture me about some war along the way. One that he knew way too much about, and that I cared too little for."
1. A Glimpse Forward

A Glimpse Forward

Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that I would be in a car, _alone_ , with the man that was currently sitting next to me. But here I found myself, on my way to a beautiful lake, with my History teacher; Mr. Masen. I half expected him to lecture me about some war along the way. One that he knew way too much about, and that I cared too little for.

This wasn't the case. Instead, our trip was filled with silence. I don't blame him, though. This isn't exactly a school function. He doesn't owe me an impromptu lesson. As it is, I hardly pay attention in his class. Not because of him- he's a wonderful teacher. Clearly passionate about the subject, a self-proclaimed "History Nerd." That being said, I've just never been so interested in history. I understand the importance of the past, but I can't bring myself to invest so much time on it.

Once again, I realize I'm caught up in my thoughts. The reality of the situation strikes again. I wonder if he feels as awkward about this silence as I do. I study him out of the corner of my eye. If he does, he's not showing any signs. His eyes are fixed on the road in front of him. I have to break the silence. I try to think of an appropriate topic, but it's more difficult than I expect.

"Did your mom make you bring me?" I finally blurted. _Smooth Bella_ , I sarcastically think to myself.

"Wha-.." He shot a quick glance at me before continuing, "No Bella, I'm an adult. My mother does not _make_ me do anything." His tone seeming slightly amused and annoyed at the same time.

"Well, yes, but…" I began to replay the morning in my mind. I remembered how he followed his mother out of the kitchen. How he leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets, looking defeated, as his mother announced that he would be taking me to the lake today. "You just didn't seem so thrilled about this." I said, a little too sincerely.

He let out a sigh, confirming my suspicion. It was clear that I had made him feel uncomfortable, but I couldn't help myself. The small space of his car began to feel constrictive as silence took over again. I wanted to ease the tension. I hoped I could make this more comfortable, by pointing out the absurdity of the moment. "I mean, I understand. It _is_ a strange situation we've found ourselves in-"

"Bella," he interrupted, "maybe we should just listen to music." Another sigh escaped him.

"Oh, ok." I felt relieved, knowing that music would fill the space. Ridding us of any awkward silence- ridding me of the need to fill that silence with conversation that he clearly didn't want to take part in. In all honestly, if we were in my car, I would have played music the second we began the drive. Not my car, not my call.

He reached over to the dash and with the push of a button, our conversation ended just as it began.


	2. You've Got a Friend in Me

1\. You've Got a Friend In Me

Alice Cullen. I've already lost count of how many times I've heard that name today. Eve

The halls were filled with talk of the new girl. I don't usually get caught up in school gossip, but today there was no avoiding it. It had been years since anyone moved to the small town of Forks.

By third period, the rumors had flooded the school. Everyone was talking about what she looked like, her personality, if she had a boyfriend- but mostly they were speculating why her family moved over her. I started to feel bad for this girl, the way everyone was discussing her. Clearly, not enough interesting things happen in this small town.

"She's so short, she's almost like a little troll" I heard Jessica, laughing at her own description.

"Yes!" Lauren joined in, "And her hair is so short, and spiky. Totally goes with the 'troll' look"

I shot them both a look of disapproval. "Class is about to start." I stated, but they both rolled their eyes at me before continuing with their conversation. I didn't care so much that class was about to start, this was my least favorite class of the day.

I've always found it difficult to stay focused during history lectures. I hoped this year would be different, considering I had Mr. Masen this year- one of the more popular teachers. This is only his third-year teaching at Forks High School, but he's already gained a wonderful reputation. Hence the reason I was excited when I found out he would be my teacher. And if I'm being completely honest with myself, his looks were also a plus.

Mr. Masen was the youngest teacher at this school. Based on the little information he's shared in class, I figured he was somewhere in his early thirties. However, he flawlessly set boundaries with his students. I noticed this from observing Jessica and Lauren shamelessly flirt with him the first few weeks of school. I always wondered how they could be so bold with him. I could barely look him in the eyes as I answered a question, let alone strike up a casual conversation with the man.

"So, does the new girl have a boyfriend?" Tyler was now in on the conversation.

"Why would we know that?" Lauren spat back.

"Oh, suddenly the gossip queens don't have an answer." I couldn't help but smile to myself with Tyler's reply.

"Alright everyone, enough with the chit chat," I heard that familiar voice I've grown fond of chime in, "we've got plenty of work to get through today."

With that one phrase, Mr. Masen was able to capture the attention of the class and get us started on our lecture for the day. Watching him teach was like an art - he was clearly so passionate about what he taught, and that helped to make the content of the class bearable. Before I knew it, the bell was ringing, and it was time to move on. It was always a bittersweet feeling when this class ended, but I knew I'd be back tomorrow to continue this sweet torture.

By lunch time, some of the buzz surrounding the new girl faded. Everyone was going about their business, and then I spotted her. She was standing in the middle of the cafeteria, tray in hand, hesitant to make a move toward any table.

"Hi. Alice, Right?" She looked at me slightly confused, probably wondering how I knew her name. "It's a small town, word gets around. I'm Bella."

"Oh, of course. Small town. Hi Bella, I'm Alice… but you already knew that." We both laughed a little.

"Sit with me," I half asked, half commanded. When I realized this, I added "If you'd like?"

Alice smiled and followed me to my usual table. Jasper, Angela, and Ben were sitting there and already engrossed in their own conversation. It was Ben who noticed us walking towards them first, and he jumped up to welcome Alice to the table.

"Everyone, this is Alice. Alice, that's Angela, Ben, and Jasper" I pointed out each person one by one, "and we're the coolest people at this school." I added for good measure.

"Well then I'm honored to be welcomed to your table," Alice played along with me. I could tell she was going to fit right in with us.

The rest of lunch felt effortless with Alice. She joked along with us and the conversation just flowed seamlessly. Yes, she was definitely going to fit right in with us.


	3. A Sneaking Suspicion

A month. That's how long it took for Alice to no longer be the focus of Fork's High gossip. I could see the relief in her face when the conversations finally moved beyond her. Although she never complained about it, it was clear that she did not enjoy being the center of attention. Luckily for Alice, a party hosted by Tyler last weekend is the new talk of the school. Unluckily for Jessica and Mike, it was their drunken argument that was now spreading through the school. It was like a weight was lifted of Alice when we walked in to school and eyes were no longer on her, but instead were searching and speculating about the disputing couple.

"Want to come over after school?" I asked Alice, "Jasper won't be home, so it'll just be us two."

"Oh, where is Jasper going?" Alice asked, but then quickly added "Well either way, I'm up for it. I'll just let my mom know that she doesn't have to pick me up after school."

Ah, I remember the days of needing a ride. The perks of being a junior this year was that I could drive myself to and from school. While I didn't have the fanciest car, like some of the other kids at the school, it was mine and I loved it.

"Sounds great!" I couldn't wait. It's not often that I get to just hang out with just Alice. Jasper is usually hanging around. Not that we had anything to hide from him, but the change in company was exciting.

"So…" Alice began, but trailed off. I gave her an expectant look and she took that as her cue to continue, "You never said where Jasper was going." She let out a small laugh, as she completed her thought.

"Oh, right. He's going to the movies with Ben. They're nerding out over some action movie. He told me what it was called, but I wasn't really paying attention." I admitted with a smile.

"So just him and Ben? No Angela or anyone... else?" Alice was looking to me, waiting for an answer.

"As far as I know, just those two. But don't worry, we'll have way more fun than those two" I snickered.

"Well I can't wait" Alice sounded relieved. I'm glad she was just as excited as I was for our little get together. "I better get to class though, If I'm late again I'll end up in detention and that will definitely put a damper on our plans."

"Hurry to class!" I commanded, "you can't ruin our plans before the day even starts." I teased.

As I sat in my third period class, I was mentally preparing myself to try and take in as much historical information as my mind could handle. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised when Mr. Masen kicked off the class a bit differently than the usual 'jump right into the lesson' method he had adopted.

"Before we get started, I have a volunteer opportunity for you guys. As juniors, it's really time

to start thinking about how to make yourself stand out as a college applicant. Volunteering is something that will look great, but also make you feel good!" Mr. Masen spoke passionately. It was clear that he was really trying to sell this idea.

Jessica eagerly rose her hand, "The idea of volunteering my time to help others sounds amazing, but what exactly would we be doing?" She batted her eyelashes, feigning sweetness. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her display.

"Well thank you for asking, as volunteers you'd be helping collect and donate food to the local food bank. Now, this is an organization that's near and dear to my heart. I've been volunteering with them for many years now, so I'm really hoping many of you will be interested."

He really did seem so hopeful and genuine about this. In general, it was easy to see that Mr. Masen was a passionate person. However, this was the first time he ever revealed something somewhat personal about himself. I was intrigued and knew I wanted to help.

My thoughts were interrupted as Lauren announced, "Mr. Masen, we're in!" She pointed between Jessica and herself to drill in the point of who 'we' consisted of.

Of course they were in, I thought to myself. They were so obvious in their desperation for his attention.

"That's great, thank you ladies" Mr. Masen replied, sincerely. "If anyone else is interested, just find a moment to let me know and I'll get more information out to you."

And with that, the class was back to business as usual. I spent the whole hour deciding how I would work up the nerve to tell Mr. Masen I wanted to be involved. I didn't want to come off desperate like Lauren and Jessica; although, maybe I was just as bad as them. Did I really want to help because I cared about helping those in need? Well yes, of course. But the possibility of spending extra time with Mr. Masen was also appealing.

As the bell rang, signifying that class was over, I decided that I did want to help. I lingered, slowly gathering my belongings as students trickled out. Once most of the students were out, I made my way over to Mr. Masen's desk in the front of the room.

My heart was racing as I approached him, I was nervous. I don't know why; I doubt that he'd reject my request to help. But the fear was still there. As I grew closer, he looked up and smiled at me.

"Isabella?" He asked, as if he was prompting me to ask my question.

"Oh, just Bella," I corrected. Smooth, I thought to myself. As if that was the most important response to him.

"Ok, 'Just Bella" he responded, with a bigger smile than earlier. "Did you have a question?"

My heart fluttered as I tried to maintain eye contact. "Well, actually I just wanted to let you know that I was interested in volunteering. I'm sure that a lot of people have already signed up for this, but I'd love to help in any way that I can." It felt like I was rambling on.

"I'm so happy to hear that," he nearly sighed with relief. "Someone I can actually rely on."

"Um thank you, I think." I smiled through my confusion.

"Yes, it was meant as a compliment. I feel relieved knowing that I have someone I can give responsibilities to, and I won't have to worry about whether things will get done." He said, matter of factly.

"Well I'm happy to help any way. Just let me know what I need to do." Up until this point, I felt nearly invisible in his classroom. I wasn't treated unkindly or ignored, but I never felt I stood out. This conversation showed me that at the very least, Mr. Masen noticed me.

"If you have a couple minutes to spare after school, maybe you can come by and I can give you the rundown on what I've gotten ready so far."

"That works for me" I tried to tone down my excitement. Again, I didn't want him to see me as some desperate little girl - "Thank you Mr. Masen, I'll see you after school."

"See you then, 'Just Bella.'" He said as a gave me the most wicked smile. I quickly made me way out of the room before he could see the blush that I felt over taking my face.

It was so difficult to pay attention the rest of the day. My mind kept replaying the earlier interaction I had with Mr. Masen. The more I thought about, the more I wondered what he thought of me. Clearly, he had put enough thought to deem me reliable. I wondered what else he had noticed about me.

Before I knew it, the school day had come to an end and I was on my way back to Mr. Masen's classroom. As I approached, I heard a familiar voice talking to him.

Alice? What was she doing talking to him, last I checked she's not in any of his classes. I quickly determined that she must've heard of the volunteer opportunity and wanted in on it. However, as I got closer the severity of her tone stopped me right in my tracks.

This wasn't a friendly conversation. Alice was upset, angry even. I had never heard her speak with so much anger in her voice. This definitely didn't sound like the sweet Alice I've grown to know, and I couldn't help but wonder what Mr. Masen could've done to spark that reaction from her. Without thinking, I hid myself to the side of the classroom. I tried to casually lean along the wall. Through this position I could hear, but to any unsuspecting onlookers I just looked like I was waiting for something.

"Can we not do this _here_." Alice spat. Yes, this was definitely not the same Alice that I spoke to this morning. I wondered what could've happened.

"Alice, I just want to make sure everything's ok." Mr. Masen was practically pleading with her.

"I'm peachy," the sarcasm came through clearly, "can I go now?"

With a large sigh, Mr. Masen must've nodded his head yes because I didn't hear him speak. For a split second I was worried that Alice would come this way and run into me. How would I even begin to explain myself. Luckily, she stormed off in the opposite direction.

I waited a couple minutes. I couldn't go in immediately after she left. He'd know that I heard something that seemed like it was meant to be private. No, instead I waited and tried to mentally keep track of how much time has passed.

After what I felt was enough time, I prepared myself to face him. I pushed the thoughts of what I had just witnessed away. I'd think about that later. Now I needed to meet with him, since I knew Alice would be waiting for me so that she could come to my house.

"Hey Mr. Masen." I greeted, as naturally as I could.

With a small smile he replied, "Hey 'Just Bella.'" His eyes were more serious than earlier, when he first called me that. It was clear that he was hurt by his interaction with Alice.

If it weren't for the fact that I knew he was upset, I'd be paying more attentions to the feelings that were elicited from the nickname he'd given me.

"You said you'd give me the rundown?" I continued.

"Yeah, you're right. But actually.. I'm pretty swamped with work. Maybe we could make a time work later this week?"

I felt bad for him. And I know it wasn't fair, but I was upset at Alice. Mr. Masen is such a nice person. What could she have been so mad at him for?

"Absolutely," I didn't hesitate, "just let me know. I hope you're able to get your work done so you can relax later. Enjoy the rest of your day." Was I trying to hard? Maybe. I should've just said yes and goodbye.

Mr. Masen's eyes soften, "Thank you Bella, see you tomorrow."

Before I could say anything else, I left the room and made my way to my car where I knew I'd find Alice's. As I made my way down the halls, I couldn't help the emotions coming over me. I tried making sense of them. I felt upset with her, but I couldn't understand why.

Then I saw her, standing by my car. When she noticed me coming her way, she smiled and waved. That's when it hit me. I was jealous of her. I was jealous of Alice Cullen. All day I had been over the moon from the feeling that Mr. Masen was giving me special attention, but when I saw them together after school, I realized I wasn't the special person he had his eyes on - she was. I felt like a fool.

"Hey Alice, you ready to go?" I asked when I was close enough for her to hear me. I tried to sound happier than I was actually feeling at the moment.

"Yes, please!" She sounded genuinely excited.

That's when the guilt settled in. Alice has always been so nice to me. She doesn't deserve for me to feel this way towards her. I told myself I needed to swallow my feelings and move past them for her sake.

More importantly, I needed to be a good friend to her and find out if she's ok. I needed to talk to her and figure out what's going on between her and Mr. Masen. They had to have some kind of relationship for her to speak to him the way she was. There had to be something personal going on, and I felt a need to uncover what it was. I tell myself that I'm not being selfish and trying to investigate for my own curiosity. That I only want to find out because she's my friend and I want to be there for her.

In other words, I lie to myself.


End file.
